'KEKELOGUE' Unrestrained & Unreserved by Joel Utieyin Onojovwo

I boarded a keke (tricycle) at Okumagba Avenue, in Warri heading for Robinson's Plaza. Two other passengers (one at the middle, and the other at the extreme left) were already seated when I jumped in. As we set out, I noticed the guy at the middle (a young, improperly dressed young man most likely in his mid 20s) was restless. His eyes were darting to and fro, and he looked uncomfortable. Within a few seconds, he had dipped his hands into his side and back pockets countless times like someone who had lost something, thereby inconveniencing the both of us, but mostly the passenger seated to his left. I just ignored

him and stayed alert, but the guy at the extreme left who looked quite impatient, and who apparently could not endure it anymore, burst out in pidgin:

"Stay one place oh, bodi dey scratch you?"

Me: (Amused by the question, and mostly by the seasoned Warri pidgin, I almost explode in embarrassed laughter, but hold back)

Middle Passenger: ( Doesn't respond but relaxes a little)

Left Passenger: Dis hand wey you dey shuuk for pocket upandan, no let am enter my pocket by mistake o, hmmm!

Me: (Look away and giggle softly)

Middle Passenger: (Not acting restless anymore. Just sits still and quietly and doesn't utter a word)

Left Passenger: Wen una wan thief for keke na so una dey do o. If you do anyhow here, you go see anyhow.

Middle Passenger: (Obviously feeling very uncomfortable) Bros, I beg, stop make I come down. Na here I wan stop.

The Middle Passenger seemed to have ended his trip prematurely, and the Left Passenger continued talking after he dropped. He sounded very confident and sure that the middle passenger was dangerous and had ulterior motives. He came down not long afterwards at Cinema Junction, and I was alone in the 'keke' and spent the remaining part of the relatively quiet ride pondering on the episode which I found quite hilarious.

There is something about the Warri pidgin that thrills me. It has this uniqueness and aesthetic appeal especially from the lips of a fluid speaker. The Left Passenger had a flawless command of it, and he reeled out every word and lashed on the Middle Passenger without any reservation; he was blatantly unrestrained and unreserved.

At first, I felt that the middle passenger was unfairly treated, but on a second thought, considering the spate of nefarious and dreadful activities in 'kekes' these days, any slightly unusual action could arouse suspicion.

I wouldn't mind having your thoughts on this.

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'KekeLogue' \ke'kelóg\ is a series of true-life stories based on my experiences in commuting around the Warri metropolis in the popular Keke (tricycle) since my car broke down with a major fault.

The word is a personal coinage invented from the Nigerian word 'keke' (a word for a popular commercial 3-wheeler) and the English suffix '-logue' (a combining word form indicating a discourse of a particular kind) found in English words like travelogue, prologue, epilogue, monologue, etc.