Friday, May 13, 2016

We Need To Talk About ‘Lah-gos’ In Captain America: Civil War

All of us at Zikoko were super excited when we heard we’d be watching Captain America: Civil War as a team.

dance maniacs
Nothing sweeter than a free movie.

As much as we LOVED it, the first 10 minutes set in Lagos, did have us like:

look judge
What’s happening here?

Team Zikoko, every time someone in the movie pronounced it as Lah-gos.

orubebe we will not take it
What are these ones saying?

Lagos, watching the movie like:

respekk
Who are you calling Lah-gos, biko?

Oya, let’s think of some of the ways Lah-gos, Nigeria is completely different from Lagos, Nigeria.

thinking

When they started off with Black Widow and Scarlet Witch drinking coffee under Lah-gos sun.

cofee
Abeg abeg!

Lagos sun and hell fire that are like:

img_1955_480
See ehn, Lagos in the afternoon is not where you want anything hot anywhere near you.

They now showed us two Lah-gos policemen and neither of them had a potbelly.

police cw
WE DON’T BELIEVE YOU!

Edakun, where was this oga in all this?

potbelly
Well, he was probably still sleeping.

Then we saw Falcon looking down at a Lah-gos street in the middle of the day

falcon traffic
Are we dreaming?

…and the roads were actually free.

how the hell
Where is all the traffic?

There was actually light in Lah-gos in the afternoon.

light
Which light?

PHCN and Lagos that are like:

opposite
Na so.

Fast forward to Black Widow in the middle of a Lah-gos market

black widow market
See all those shops behind her.

…and nobody did this:

Even when Falcon finally came down to join her

falcon
A whole Anthony Mackie.

…not one Igbo brother shouted “heysss fine boy!” at him.

if i hear
Who will now buy all their jeans trousiz?

Then see Lah-gosians that were just standing around watching people with guns and bombs fight.

watching
HOW?

Real Lagosians, when they hear anything that just sounds like a gunshot:

run
They are not about that life, abeg.

Captain America, calling for the Lah-gos fire and rescue department after a bombing:

fire and rescue
…and they actually arrived on time.

The real Lagos fire department when you call them:

water no
No vex, Captain America!

Anyway, all na jokes. Lagos is awesome and so is the movie. Oya, go see it if you haven’t.

Bye

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